Cankle Impact

Pool day! I love my pool days. Today seemed like a whole lot of laps, we didn't even do the running in place thing but Sergeant Laura added something new that I didn't really understand. She said we were going to do sprint like laps. Every 10 seconds she yelled go and as I'm swimming as fast as I can for already having done laps for the last 25 minutes. Trying not accidentally snort a bunch of chlorinated water as the waves over take me I was thinking , "Exactly how far do you think I got in the last 10 seconds to go again!?!?"

As usual, after thirty minutes in the pool we quickly change and do a few circuits for the last 30 minutes. The first thing we had to do was the HARDEST thing for me. We were supposed to do 20 forward jumps on each foot. Ok I just got myself somewhat comfortable with both feet leaving the ground doing burpees and jumping rope but now you want me to put the force of all of my weight on to my cankles 20 times each! It'll take time to get comfortable with that one. Then the other ridiculous moment was when we had to go to the class room and do double leg raises holding the stability ball between our feet. No one was there in the room at the time to witness me accidentally flinging the ball across the room but not before it bounced off my face. T College Money came in shortly after I got the hang of things and while I was in the middle of warning her, she did the same thin.

Quicksand

We started out this morning with the direction to go towards the light. That should have been a sign or omen right there. We headed out of the basketball court and went towards the light of the sandy volleyball court. Half off us stood on the line on one side of the court and the other on the other side. We were to sprint towards the net and back again as many times as we could in a minute. This brings me to my rant about people who run on beaches. I don't know why or how people find running on the beach enjoyable. You get sand in odd places, running on pavement is hard enough and now you're running in a substance that tries to swallow your feet, not to mention the possible sand flies lurking in every grain. Ack! After we finished our first minute of sprints it was time for our beloved "recovery jog" around the court with lunges and squats intermittently. While "recovering" Ms. Radio Diva offers me some words of wisdom saying, "It only get's worse. But in a good way!" I later find out that even though we do all of this twice somehow this was us having it easy. After the sand pit we moved on to tire flipping and everyone's favorite burpees. It's pretty amazing to me that just 4 or so weeks ago I was doing modified burpees and now I can do the full on burpee and I feel strong doing it.

With only fifteen minutes left when we're already good and tired, of course that's the perfect time to do a mile or mile and a half run. I'm still sticking with the mile but I sure pushed myself today and shaved a minute and a half off of my a last one. Now it's time for a "recovery weekend".

Crazy Eights

This morning we got to spend the entire bootcamp on the soccer field in the dark. No matter how dark it is though, Sergeant Laura seems to know if you need a kick in the pants. We did circuits in some sort of figure eight pattern. We always started one loop of the eight with two tire flips then we either went left to do mountain climbers or right to do hip dips. There is no way on God's green earth I have the strength at this point to start in a plank position, lift one leg up and pass it under the other dipping my hip to the ground and back up, so my dips looked a little more like a little hip flick. Regardless, between the hip dips, mountain climbers (remind me never to go mountain climbing) and plank jacks, my hands feel raw. Thank goodness for the little break for my hands with the standing knee crunch things and the v squats. Oh lets not forget the jumping stars or the modified option which is just jumping jacks. Let me explain to you men or ladies out there whose cups may not runneth over. Gravity is a beast, every time my feet hit the ground, it feels like I'm being punched in the lungs. EVERY SINGLE time it knocks the wind out of me audibly. When we were finally finished with the crazy eights we were instructed to do a "recovery jog" around the field while intermittently sidestepping on Sergeant Laura's command. The term "recovery jog" seems like an oxymoron. To me recovery should be paired with something like nap or better yet cheeseburger. I'd like a "recovery cheeseburger" please.


Alas, next week is my last week in bootcamp and then I'm on my own. If I could, I'd do bootcamp every week for the next 14 months since it obviously helped me shed 18 lbs already. $150 for a 6 week class unfortunately isn't feasible but I'm still holding out hope that I might be able to do it once or twice more in this 14 month journey if I'm really good for the Birthday fairies or Santa aka my better-off siblings. Just found out that our last bootcamp class next week is the "Biggest Loser Outdoor Challenge". So not only do I have anxiety about keeping up the pace on my own over this next year but now the last day at bootcamp seems terrifying, particularly after I asked for more details and I only get questions in return like "Were you a girl scout?" or "Do you have any life saving skills?" What kind of movement am I about to ENJOY next week?!?!

Shut Your Mouth!

Bosu tabatas! What a way to start the week. As many of the meme's say, if you think 20 seconds goes by quickly, you've never done tabatas. If you're not familiar, tabatas are sets of 20 second intense workouts with 10 seconds rests. We did this for the first 30 minutes. Because THAT wasn't hard enough, half of those tabata exercises were done with bosus. (Picture half of a stability ball) You mean I'm supposed to do plank jacks with my feet on the bosu and not accidentally kick it at the person's head behind me? Oh oops. Now you want me to take my two*cough* lb body and balance on an upside-down half ball and do squats?!?! I am actually honestly proud of myself that I was able to do the bosu squats without holding on to anything or anyone...I may not have broken parallel but I'll take these small accomplishments where I can get them.

We spent the last 30 minutes doing circuits around the basketball court, various arm and leg exercises, planks on a stability ball, the dreaded ladder thing where I'm supposed to step in and step out of these rungs on a rope ladder that's on the ground and somehow not have anxiety that I'm going to hold up the group with my uncoordinated slow stepping. Then of course we had extended lunges for numbers meaning we try to stretch out our lunges as far as possible all the way across the two basketball courts with the least amount of steps possible. There I was on the second time around for these lunges, panting trying to catch my breath when I accidentally inhale a bug. I could still feel it in the back of my throat when I was driving home. Note to self: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

I Had Anvils For Legs

I made it through another Zumba class last night. I was actually able to do more than I was last week and I didn't end up with ankle and calf cramps on account of my compression sleeves....but then we had bootcamp this morning and it started in the pool. I have actually been looking forward to being in the pool for a week and a half because it doesn't cause injuries like running and all the other high impact activities. Well after Zumba last night I felt like I was dead weight in the pool. Thank goodness I am buoyant at the moment because I took advantage of those short rests by floating motionlessly.  My legs felt like I had anvils attached to them and next to me is a little mermaid lapping me. I still enjoyed it much more than the jogging/sprints and the pendulum lunges we did on the soccer field afterwards.

I Was Burping All Over The Place

So I went.....That's about all I can say for my accomplishments today. Oh and I stayed and didn't ghost out early so there's that. Bootcamp started in the classroom where we did sit-ups, squats, holding pushups and jumping planks in 4 sets of 20 sec rounds with 10 second rests in just as painful of resting positions. We also took a minute for a birthday song and photo op in planking position for the birthday girl....if I end up doing bootcamp in September note to self, tell NO ONE it's your birthday.


We then migrated to the soccer field for a new circuit. At each corner of the field we do 4 burpees, once we've finished one round we do 4 burpees and add 4 jumping squats, after that round we add 4 pushups and on the 4th round we add "pointing dog". For those with the energy and speed to continue they would then do additional rounds where they would take away one of those exercises one round at a time. Before we even started some smarty pants in the back said, "That's 64 burpees for those of you that quiver at that math." Thanks, thanks a lot.

Case of the Mondays

As I sit drinking my coffee reflecting on today's bootcamp, I'm struggling to find the humor in it. I made some great progress like after our 2 minute timed sit-ups I could actually give a number for REAL sit-ups unlike my first day. With each round of our circuit today I pushed myself harder and harder particularly with the counted-weighted lunges. We did everyone's favorite froggies. Alternating lunges, squatted medicine ball passes, hopscotch jumps and some banded arm exercises. The only new strange exercise for me today was banded side squats which I can only equate to walking around with your pants around your ankles. Now that's an awkward feeling.

Enjoy The Movement....And Calf Cramps and Shin Splints....

Let's start by saying that yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to up my exercise frequency so I decided to try Zumba after work. First of all, it's probably been 3-4 years since I've tried Zumba but it seemed more like Bollywood. Anyways, for the majority of the class I felt this painful stiffness in my ankles from all the jumping around then of course there's my fluid-filled knee from Monday's "running" so I was doing the best I could with my broken body. I guess the factory installed shock absorbers of my body's suspension system weren't built to carry this much. But I know time heals all. I will say though that the best part about Zumba at the Y is that they turn down the lights and turn on the multi colored club lights. The lower the lighting the better for me!

It's sometimes surprising to people when I say I'm shy just because of my involvement in the performing arts but I am especially when already so far out of my comfort zone...like exercising. I honestly avoid the partner exercises on circuits when I can because everyone just seems to already have their partners. Every morning we warm up before class by walking laps around the basketball court. For the first time someone actually took the time to chat with me at my half asleep zombie pace and it was very refreshing. We'll call him Harry Callahan, (Probably an easy code name to figure out for bootcampers familiar with classic action movies) so thanks for the company Harry.

The circuits started with two tire flips and two jumps where you had to jump up onto the tire. I kept trying to hold off and wait for one of the shorter tires but that line kept getting longer so I finally gave in and went to the tires that are probably a foot and a half thick. Flipping is no problem, what I'm afraid of is falling on my face. After flipping and jumping we run around the building and go to the first classroom where we do something called froggies. We lay belly down on a stability ball hoping not to pop it and lift both legs up behind you and trying to clap your feet behind your head....yeah it looked as ridiculous as it sounds. We then went to the next room where we did squats with weighted bars and finished it off with suicide burpees. That's when I got my third injury of the week, the worst calf cramp I've EVER felt in my life. We were supposed run loops around the parking lot in our respective speed class but I got through the first loop and the cramp was just too much. I tried stretching, massaging and icing but nothing was working. I finally just made the determination that my sister paid too much money for me to sit this out so I pushed through. Drill Sargent Laura kept saying "Enjoy the movement". I had no idea she was a comedian too. :-P

You Want Me To Do What?!?!

Today started with some overhead ball thrusts, knee repeaters, weighted lunges and jumping rope (with which I made marked improvement today). After that first round we went into the classroom and did (6) 20second rounds of sit ups, squats and holding pushups. A week and a half ago if you recall, I couldn't do ONE sit up. Well I don't know how many I did and some were a little sloppy but I did (6) 20 second rounds of sit ups! After that we went back out to do a mini round of the first circuit. Shout out to the girl who wouldn't take no for an answer and made me do another round of lunges even though the super light weighted bar I brought out was stolen.

To top the day off we went to the field for the last 20 minutes for another circuit. I started with plank knee pull thrusts (do a plank, pull one knee in, my knees can't pull far on account of my "wine barrel" then thrust the leg in the air), my beloved tire flipping I'd rather do than any of this other bologna, plank jacks (do a plank but move your feet like you're doing jumping jacks), then finally the piece de resistence, pendulum lunges (do a lunge then bend over touching the ground lifting a leg all the way up like a split). Ok really?!? I can't even touch my toes and now I'm supposed to turn into the fat swan?!? I'm glad I don't wear a watch because I'd be checking it every 20 seconds for the entire hour.

As a final note, I've been dealing with a tender medial knee since Monday. I put on my Dr. Jo hat and consulted with Web MD and diagnosed myself with "runners knee". Bahaha! The irony and hilarity is not lost on me. I know gradually my knees will have lest weight to carry and in turn "running" will be less traumatic but it still sucks at the moment.

Crabby Pattie

Working out when exhausted is tough for anyone but I'm still going to complain. After going to bed with only 6 hours before bootcamp I had trouble falling asleep because I was thinking. "Ugh only 6 hours until bootcamp." Sporting my cheeseburger society t-shirt I stole from a friend in college, I dragged my butt out of bed and to bootcamp. My driving factor being I want to be thirty flirty and fun more than I want to sleep.

Now for everyone's favorite game! Let's play what was impossible for Johanna today?!?! I hope you read that in you best inner game show host voice. In one of the circuits we did today we did something called a crab walk. I've said it many times before that I broke both wrists so I'm a big wuss because of it. I lack the ability to hold my weight with them and have reduced range of motion. With that in mind we were supposed to sit with our hands behind us and butts off the ground lifting one foot and the opposite hand towards each other.......yeah I struggled to just lift one foot at a time toeing the line of stressing my wrists too much that they'll hurt me the rest of the week. What's even better is there will be photographic proof of this struggle.

Surprisingly and luckily I was able to do one of the more difficult stations of the circuit called karaoke. No I wasn't singing....although it would eventually be a good exercise to pair with singing to improve one's ability to dance and sing simultaneously. Anyway I digress. The best way for me to describe karaoke is doing the hardest part of a grapevine over and over at your top speed. I think the only reason I didn't struggle with this unlike some is because it was more like muscle memory from my time on the theatre stage. It seems strange to think of MY muscles having any more than a deja vu from a far distant past life where they were actually used, but somehow I was able to karaoke without busting my face on the basketball court. Hurray for small victories!

We ended today by "running" "multiple" .7mile laps. As I'm starting on my second lap the Mayor's wife passes me on her third lap offering words of encouragement. Somehow she doesn't appear to be sweating, but her calves glisten in the morning sun....which makes me say to myself once again, " thirty flirty and fun, thirty flirty and fun."

Today Was Aqua-Awesome!

I must admit I had my reservations about today when I read the announcement on the Biggest Loser Facebook page that we'd be in the pool for the first half of our workout. Not only do I have to sweat and pant uncontrollably around these people but now I have to get half naked?!?! Then there was the fact that my thighs were STILL burning from the squats and run on Wednesday. I was actually pretty fast for that warmup lap nearly keeping up with "G-Boss Man" then on the way back to the other side it was like my body just remembered "Oh wait a minute! That's right, we're not athletic. Muahaha"

All in all I felt more at home in the pool than I do beating the pavement but it was still a workout for sure. On one of first laps I realized I was in trouble when Sergeant Laura gave me some sort of floatation device that I'm somehow supposed to keep between my legs for a lap (1 lap = from one end of the pool to the other and back). I couldn't go 5 feet without that dang thing floating my butt up which in turn pushed my face under water and then of course that meant I let it go. I kept thinking, "Who knew it would be this hard for me to keep my legs closed." :-) Then, there was the water boarding in which we had to go under water and push up and out of the water with our legs only to gasp for air just before going back down under water again. Seriously I felt like I was being water boarded, barely getting a breath of air before another wave of water engulfed me.

After about 40 minutes in the pool it was time for a quick change to get a few minutes of circuits on dry land. Today's nearly impossible exercise was jumping rope. Now I was never the most coordinated little girl but dang, I'm a completely uncoordinated woman. Here I have to my right the Tax Collector's brother jumping rope about 30 times faster than me and I get maybe two jumps in before I trip on myself.

All that being said I almost feel like the water was therapeutic for my sore thighs but ask me again tomorrow, the pain usually sneaks up on me. And now for a little comedic relief from one of my favorite female physical comedians.

If I'm Running, Something's Chasing Me

Happy National Running Day!....said with half hearted enthusiasm. Today Sergeant Laura celebrated the occasion by having us run a mile (or mile and a half for the more fit) in the rain AFTER doing two rounds of 4 types of painful partner squats. Probably like many of my fluffy friends out there, I've avoided running for a long long long long long time. Like the saying goes, "if I'm running, something is chasing me" today it wasn't a creeper or a bear, it was "The Diabeetus". Written phonetically for dramatic effect. Obviously after years of packing on some insulation I wasn't about to do a 6 minute mile or even 12 minute mile but I gave myself small goals. I tried to alternate run/walk between signs.

Of course because the squats and running weren't enough, we came back to more circuits. I admit I struggled through two rounds of the first circuit and by that time there was only five minutes left, I wanted to ghost the Y more than any party I've ever ghosted. If you're not familiar with that term, it's when you quietly leave and no one notices until later and say "hey where did Johanna go?" I'm so well known for ghosting parties that they started calling it the Johanna.

Here I am recovering at home so exhausted that I accidentally washed my hair twice. I'm walking so funny I feel like I belong at the Ministry of Silly Walks. (See the embedded Monty Python Sketch for reference and a good laugh.)

It Came At Me Like A Ninja

Today's workout consisted of a few different circuits starting with "Suicides". The appropriately named exercise is basically sprinting to one spot and back doing a squat sprinting further away and back to two squats and continue this until you've done 5 squats then hobble over to the next station. After a few rounds and a whole new set of circuit exercises Drill Sergeant Laura invited us to split into groups where we went into one of the classrooms to do timed leg lifts, counted and timed pushups and sit-ups. Well I already knew pushups were going to be a struggle from my previously fractured wrists but I had NO idea just how amazingly impossible it is for me to do a real sit-up, not talking crunches, not talking someone sitting on your feet while doing sit-ups like we did in the Airforce. I couldn't do a SINGLE sit-up and had to resort to "modified" sit-ups. How discouraging is that! The solace I'm taking now is that with every sit-up I am able to do over the next 5 weeks of bootcamp is pure improvement. 

Even with the suicides and failed sit-ups today's workout didn't seem as impactful or intense as Friday's....until I tried to stand up from the couch after my morning coffee and bam! It felt like I got karate chopped by a ninja on my hamstrings. Got a wheel chair I can borrow? lol