If You Could See Me Now

If anyone saw me for the hour after bootcamp you would swear I was a 90 year old with broken feet in a 29 year old's chunky body. When I get home around 6:20 I do the hobble back into the house. Every I stand up after sitting down its sheer pain all over my body particularly in my heels and today a little extra in my hips....but did I die? :-)

This morning we started with a "warm-up" circuit that included the following: tire flips with jumps, banded tricep pulls, suicides, kettle ball swings, banded side squats, jump ropes, ball passes, table climbs and run around the building and we did this twice. We then went out to the skeeter buffet soccer field where we flipped the tires 4 times, sprinted from one corner to the next and then to the third corner, then did banded side steps again, and the last corner we did more banded arm exercises. I managed to do this circuit 3 times before I was ready to quit luckily when I was at my quitting point we were asked to roll the tires back and be done.  Regarding today's workout, all I have to say is I think I would last longer than many others in a zombie apocalypse on account of my serious sprinting skills. I might not be able to sprint for long but I now know that I can sprint further in one shot than I thought I could before.

B-E-A-U Can Stop Lapping Me

There we were making Monday a leg day apparently. We started in the classroom doing 30 seconds of squats and lunges followed by 20 seconds of planks or v holds and we did this for 20 minutes. The only consolation was that the 40 or so of us were in the air conditioned room instead of in the 5:15am humidity outside. After that intensity we walked around the basketball court until Sgt Laura instructed us that we would have a 6 minute interval run. We would run at a high speed for 30 seconds then a recovery pace for 30 seconds. For many of us recovery pace was walking. There were two more intervals left when Beau, probably the fastest runner in our group and likely twice my age, was coming up behind me about to pass me for the umpteenth time. I thought, you know, there's only two rounds left lets try to keep up with Beau. I'm basically in a sprint but I'm keeping up with him until it was time for the recovery pace which with Beau I don't notice him slowing down much at all so I fall back but try too keep near by. When it was time to speed up for the last 30 seconds I met up with him again and pushed it out till the end. It took me an entire recovery walk around the track and almost our entire next circuit to catch my breath but I felt pretty good about keeping stride with Beau.
The following circuit consisted of burpees with combined pushups, star jumps, partner isolated squats, knee repeaters and roll overs. The roll overs were done in the classroom and by the second round there were several of us that just wanted to stay in the A/C a little extra longer. When we went back to the court Sgt Laura teased and said I think a couple of you did a few too many rollovers...Guilty :-P

1 Mississipi 2....Hurry Up and High Five Me!

I got myself out of bed on time today. Even made it to bootcamp early enough to do some warmup laps....but the parking lot was sparse. I found that today none of my other group three people came to bootcamp. We started out with an Indian run while carrying light weights. People chose weights anywhere from 1lb (mostly trying to be funny) to 4lbs I think. I chose 3lbs. It is a big change to run with weights because I'm usually running sloppy with floppy hands trying to conserve my energy in an effort to continue running. Running with weights not only means added weight to my arms, I have to expense the energy to keep my hands in a fist. There were several people who claimed that today they were group three for our runs but the truth of it is that we never actually split off from group 2. (The first time anyways, my butt was walking by the end of the hour)

When that "warm up" as Sgt Laura called it was over we started what we soon found out would be repetitive torture. We did 30 traveling sumo squats, pendulums and karaokes. Which later we repeated two more times for a total of 90 each. Because I failed to listen to directions I did my first 40 or so pendulums as lunge pendulums just to make things more difficult on myself. I find it funny how the more fit people consistently forget to count how many they have done. Here I am counting halves and quarters just to make sure I don't accidentally do an extra one...couldn't have that!

We ended up doing some partner work too on the soccer field we switched partners three times to do three one minute squat holds. Sgt Laura said we'd thank her next time we go camping in the woods or go to a public restroom on a road trip. We then had to do 60 planking high fives. Ok so in the past my partners and I have shared the same strategy that the faster you high-five the less time you have to spend planking. For this particular time I get partnered with an ity bity blondie from group one. I ended up planking there with one hand up waiting for a high five many times even though I specifically told her I can only do these if done quickly. I swear she counted 1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi between each high five. In my head I hear Jim Gaffigan saying "What are you doing here? You're done!"

Overdosing On Suicides

What's a better way to start the day than with a bunch of suicides?! Right when I got to bootcamp this morning...at exactly 5:15 we grabbed weighted bars and did lunge for number and at least three rounds of suicides. I sprinted at full speed for the first one but by #3 I was dragging. After I was panting and nearly lifeless we headed into the classroom for some bosu tabatas that included squats, planks, reverse planks, bicycles and probably something else but by this point I felt like I was in zombie mode. It was 5:45 and that meant it was time to do a quick change and jump in the pool. At this point I'm thinking there's a slight possibility I could drown because I felt like a giant dumbbell. I hopped in the pool trying to stay near CEO.com because though she's faster than me at least I won't feel like a stranger is speeding up behind me like a shark. That didn't last long and we were re-paired with other bootcampers and I happened to be paired with Curly Sue who is sooo fast she finished her third length of the pool before I finished my second. We at least had a break from the relays and took turns doing laps while the other person treaded water or did "jump squats" which I've mentioned makes me feel like I'm going to drown. By the time we got out of the pool I had to sit down before trying to get out to my car. I felt heavy and drained. I guess that's what happens when you miss even one day of bootcamp like I did Monday when I slept completely through it.

Does Running Late Count?

Have you ever pressed snooze in your sleep....twice? Well I did this morning. I woke up at 5 am but I still made it to bootcamp and only missed one set of tabatas. I wasn't the only one, when I got to the empty basketball court "Miss Booty" was running in coming from the soccer field where she had gone to look for the class so we figured they were hiding in the blue room. It was bosu tabata day. I came in just in time to step on the bosu upside down and do squats. For anyone that hasn't tried doing squats on a bosu let me explain. The bosu if you're not familiar is half of a stability ball. When you flip it upside down, the ball side is on the floor and the flat side is facing you. At this point you step on the flat surface, one foot at a time and try to keep your balance doing squats as your legs shake uncontrollably. In between squat sets we did side planks then the next bosu exercise was burpees and the superman. The superman, appropriately named is when you lay down with your belly on the ball side and hold your legs and feet straight out like you're Superman flying through the sky.


We headed out to the basketball court next for another circuit which included jumping rope, karaokes, weighted lunges, weighted pendulum lunges and partner squats every other exercise. CEO.com figured out for us that every Friday, Sgt. Laura likes to completely decimate our legs because we have two days to recover. Good thing there aren't that many places with staircases in Florida.

Well That Escalated Quickly

 

Today was as good a day as any to get out there in the volleyball sand pit of pain. We began the day with everyone's favorite bonding exercise, partner planking crawl through. CEO.com and I paired up as usual but this was our first time doing this together. Last time I had the pleasure of crawling under Sgt Laura who then copped out of crawling under me so this was going to be the first time I had to stay up in the planking position to refrain from crushing someone under my body weight. I got to go first and low crawl under CEO.com, as I crawled under he over and over I ended up making a nice tunnel that she was able to use next. Then it was my turn to assume the position. As I'm getting into planking position, CEO.com says "Oh this is going to be easy because you always stick your butt in the air." I'm so glad we have an honest relationship lol. She was right though when she said it'll the fastest plank because you're not paying as much attention. As Sgt Laura called time, CEO.com was still under me and threatened to stay there. Very funny. We finished off the sand pit of pain with two sets of sand sprints.

We went back to the basketball court for a small circuit which seemed to consist of several variations of lunges, table climbs, some weighted arm exercises, tire flips and a run around the building. We did that twice then we had to do a mile run. I'm disappointed that I lost some time on my mile but I suppose it could have been due to the sand sprints and runs around the building. As usual though, I still pushed out a final sprint when I reached the edge of the parking lot.

Sometimes You Just Can't

In honor of Special K and friends.

I knew it was going to be bad. I woke up with horrendous stomach pains reminiscent of food poisoning but I went to bootcamp anyways. Today started with sets of 25 double leg lifts, squat presses, banded side steps, step ups, and star jumps. Up until this point I have been doing modified star jumps aka jumping jacks but today I thought it was time to graduate. Here I am doing a jumping star and catching my breath each time and look over to see Special K knocking them out without taking a breath it seemed. I'm fully aware I can't compare myself to her as she is sooo fit that she does 90 minutes of bootcamp and then crossfit right after. After two rounds of this circuit we headed to the soccer field for a two minute jog then another circuit that included 4 tire flips, then 10 each plank rolls, jumping stars and banded leg lifts. CEO.com and I started on the jumping stars seeing how Special K did it, we gave it a shot. It felt like my arms were going to be torn off.

I almost made it through a full round when we got to the plank rolls, which are still next to impossible for me, when I finally decided to take CEO.com's advice and listen to my body. If I stayed any longer anyone else listing to my body might have heard how uncomfortable I was. So unfortunately, my workout was cut short, I left at 5:55 rather than 6:15 but when you can't you just can't.

Battling The Battle Ropes

I know it's going to be a rough two weeks being at the theatre most every night till late because of The Sensuous Senator performances or King and I rehearsal but it really was tough to roll out of bed this morning especially after last nights knee bruising "dance" rehearsal. It started out with "Indian Runs". I always feel so politically incorrect saying that but there we were separated into 3 groups. Today however, there seemed to be little distinction between group 2 and 3. When it was time to sprint and take my place at the front of group the two ladies who were somewhere in between didn't know which group they were in (I asked) so I had no idea if I was supposed to go in front or behind them. Pick a group! When we were done the 6 minute Indian Run we then did a 1 minute partner isolated squat and 60 planking high fives and followed that with karaokes across and back of the two soccer fields.

Enough is never enough for Sgt Laura so we returned to the basketball court for two rounds of circuits at which we spent a minute with 10 second break and then 30 seconds at each station. The stations included, "recovery" planks, kettle ball squat swings, banded side steps, battle rope overhead swings, tire flips, isolated partner squats, and banded squats. This was the first time we'd done the overhead battle rope swings. Basically, we are taking about 4 feet of the end of a battle rope (big fat tug of war rope) and swinging it over our head like cowboys. If you don't get enough momentum you really just look like you're fighting to keep a big black anaconda out of your face. Needless to say some of us might have a few head injuries but at least it was comic relief while we sang Watch me whip, now watch me nae nae.

So Far From Comfortable

Arriving late to bootcamp on pool day when there's 50 people in class is no bueno. It means you have slim to no choice with whom you share a lane. Sgt Laura smiled a little too big when I asked where I could possibly go and she said right this way putting me in the same lane with two super fast guys and one pretty fast girl. We basically had to do relays where two people would be on one side of the lane and the other two on the opposite side taking turns doing laps once the other person reaches the halfway point. That might work if all four people went remotely the same speed. The entire time my inner theme music was of course JAWS because I felt like I was swimming for my life being chased by sharks. We hadn't done it in a while but it finally came back to haunt me, the underwater jump squats. I don't know what it is about these but doing squats underwater and jumping out quickly 25 times in a row leaves little time to breath and gives me major anxiety. I can only equate to the sensation of waterboarding. Yes I might be a little dramatic but it feels terrible to me.

When pool time was over we did a quick change and met out on the basketball quart. 25 must have been her magic number today because our circuit consisted of 25 of everything; lunge pendulums, toe touches, mountain climbers, belly rolls and box jumps. CEO.com and I accidentally walked into the blue room in which we're supposed to do the box jumps but I wasn't ready to try them so we said oops wrong room and went into the next one. Everyone's comic relief today was the belly roll. You lay with your belly on a stability ball and walk your hands out until you're planking with the ball under your shins. You then pull your knees toward your stomach 25 times. There was no way to steer if you started veering off and there absolutely was no way for me to gracefully dismount after 25 belly rolls. I pretty much just fell off the side spread eagle. Finally with my partner-in-pain back in town we sped through the exercises noting that for once when Sgt Laura exclaims that we should be on our second round, we're usually far from it but we were much closer today.

Fitness Is A Labor Of Love

Happy Labor Day! We celebrate labor day to recognize American workers who have contributed to the strength, economic health and overall well-being of our Nation. What better way to celebrate than to concentrate on our own individual strength, health and well-being? While 30 other bootcampers must have been vacationing or visiting family there were still 20 of us that showed up for bootcamp this morning. First thing we did was head out to the damp and darkened soccer field. It was the first time we'd been out there this session. We were told to pick a partner and with my usual partner-in-pain still on holiday I had to get over my social anxiety and I latched on to Sgt Laura's former Marine husband. I think it was a good choice, though Sgt Laura called out to everyone that it wasn't a race and that we should be "enjoying the movement" Mr. Marine motivated me to speed through our partner high-five pushups, high-five planks and partner squats. Then we had to do tabata sprints, 8x 20second sprints each followed by a 10 second recovery jog. I'll admit that I wasn't giving each sprint full speed but mainly because I was fully aware of how many more we had to do and I wanted to survive. When that was over we trekked back to the basketball court to find out we would only be there long enough to do sumo squats, burpees, jump squats and pendulums which we would then have to do again 4 times over at each corner of the soccerfield. As we're panting from the thick hot air on our way back down to the soccer field Sgt Laura says, "This humid air is great for detoxing and that comes free with the program!" Always the optimist.

Finally, to finish off the hour we did another tabata and partner exercises. This time, instead of tabata sprints we did tabata skips. There's nothing funnier than seeing 20 grown adults skipping around a field at 6am. As ridiculous as it was, I found that by singing, "We're off to see the wizard" it kept me at a good rhythm and speed.

You know it was a good workout when just in the two minutes sitting in your car your body deteriorates from the depletion of those endorphines and adrenaline that you get out of your car and hobble bent over double like an 80 year old. Well I had my coffee and recovered enough to then finish mowing my two-week old grass. Cheers to the labor of love going from fat to fit.

Pain In My Honor

I knew it was coming, I had secretly hoped that no one would notice, I even wore my favorite shirt that says "LEAVE ME ALONE" but of course, a birthday doesn't sneak by without Sgt Laura recognizing it. As usual, she has the entire bootcamp class form the bday girl's initials while planking. This time she said, "Johanna I was thinking you could do a side plank with your free hand and foot in the air while holding a medicine ball." I proceeded to laugh in her face and tell her she was certifiable. Thankfully whomever started singing the birthday song did it with a good pace but unfortunately it was too fast for Sgt Laura so we still had to hold our plank after the song.

Now, let's get to today's torture. Our circuits included knee repeaters, jump ropes, banded arm exercises, lunges and squats, weighted arm exercises, ball passes, tire flips and a run around the building. With the combination of the running, the jump ropes and knee repeaters it felt like a lot of stress on the shins and ankles so thankfully I have two days to recover. After the first round we went to the volleyball court for some sand sprints. I pushed myself hard and was able to get in more that ever but then we find out we have to do it again. The number of laps didn't improve the second time around....at all. At least I got my exfoliating treatment for the week.

Yes, I Hear Voices

Rolling out of bed proved more difficult this morning than usual as I still have not recovered from my pre-birthday weekend. It was a small voice but there was a voice in my head that said, "Just sleep in and go on Friday. It won't hurt to miss one day." So, I rolled out of bed, holstered my jiggly parts and hopped in the car. Not long after my arrival Sgt Laura split us into two groups, one group did lunging for numbers while the other group did 30 knee repeaters on each leg. If I haven't said it before, knee repeaters wreak havoc on your ankles when you're carrying so much weight. After that, we did a .7 mile run and timed sit-ups, pushups and leg lifts. That right there felt like a good workout so I thought we might do a few more circuits but no, the bomb drops and Sgt Laura says "let's go out to the parking lot for a timed run, oh and those of you who've been with me for a while can't get away with a mile anymore, you need to do a mile and a half." Is she cray cray?!?! We just ran .7miles already! I thought about just running a mile with the newbies especially with the shin splints I got from the loop we just did but a different little voice in my head said, "You signed up for a 5K in October (1month 4weeks & 1 day), may as well start pushing further now." I listened to that one and slow and steady made it more than half way before I started fartleking. (Laugh and then look it up. Wikipedia research is acceptable for you educators reading this). Of course as always, at the end of my runs, I use whatever energy I have left to sprint the last little bit. It's my favorite part. So, for a total of 2.2 miles run today I'm well on my way to proving I can survive a 5k.