Oh Snap!

Well today I sought to be comfortable for emotional reasons so I donned a 2xl shirt that's basically like a big moomoo on me and headed off to bootcamp....never again, never again. The shirt was heavy and hot with all that extra material. There was no comfort in that.

We actually used weights for some arm exercise tabatas today. Finally I feel like I'm getting an arm workout as opposed to failing at pushups! We also did banded tricep pulls in one of the circuits and while I was in the middle of the one minute round SNAP, I broke the band! Sgt Laura teasingly says "Good job! Usually you don't break a band until the 3rd round of bootcamp." Which reminds me, I've got two weeks left of this round. I've been doing bootcamp for 10 weeks now.

In talking with my sister about my shapeshifting, she asked if I'm getting a lot of loose skin yet. The prospect terrified me enough to start being a good high maintenance girl and covering myself with lotion after my shower. Between that and continuous intake of water and the fact that I'm trying to accomplish this transformation before my 30th birthday, HOPEFULLY means my skin won't make me look like an albino elephant.

Stinkin' Water Nymphs

Yay! Pool day!....but wait let's change the one thing I could depend on as a routine, let's workout on dry land THEN go in the pool. Murr. Sgt Laura just has to change things up. We started in the blue room with 30/20 exercises. 30 seconds of something like squats, lunges, pushups, rollups...unfortunately not fruit rollups, then each set is followed by a 20 second "recovery" plank or v-hold. We did three sets of this and THEN changed and went in to the pool. Needless to say what hint of speed and energy I would usually have on pool days was completely lost. To make matters worse I've got two little water nymphs on either side of me leaving me choking in their wake. I swear CEO.com and Ms. Buy or Sell were born in water or something. Not only was I struggling through the warm-up laps, we had to do sprinting 25s meaning swim as fast as possible one length of the pool then turn around and do it again as soon Sgt Laura says go again. I still wouldn't even be at the wall by the time she said go. I would almost rather be sprinting on land! That's right, I said it. Today I would prefer land over water, it just felt like I was swimming against the current. When it was all over, I apparently celebrated a little overzealously for Sgt Laura's liking but we were finally done and I was relieved to get out of the pool. When I got out, CEO.com was right behind me and pointed out, it might be time for a new swimsuit, I guess my butt was sagging....good problem?

The Substitute

According to Bloomberg, Sebring will see the 2nd most economic growth in the nation next year due to the booming retirement industry. Well with CEO.com's and my bum knees as well as my newest aching body part, my hip, I think we just fit right in. Ugh.

Today Sgt Laura was absent for whatever reason, so we had a substitute drill sergeant. He only said his name once and was really soft spoken so I'm not entirely sure what he said, it sounded like Java so we'll go with it because he did look like a tall dark cup of delicious Java. Just sayin'.

After we razzed him a bit by making him demonstrate all the exercises with which we were already very familiar, we did some a tad bit unorganized circuits all in the basketball court except for the one we left till the end, the lap around the building. When we did the stability ball plank CEO.com and I said in unison when it was over "I did it! I made the full minute." Unfortunately, when it was over I was exhausted and dropped my knee on the concrete...bad call, lesson learned. After those circuits we split into two groups. My group went to the blue room, not to be confused with the red room of pain, and did timed sit ups, push-ups, legs raises, and burpees. Then we were supposed to do 60 partner situps and 60 partner planking high fives. Yeah I don't think I've done 60 situps since I was 17 and in AF basic training and it certainly wasn't going to happen today. We made it to 30 before we moved on. The final exercise was a .7 mile run. Holy moly I made it the entire run without stopping to walk! It may not have been pretty or fast but I made it!

Yay for daily successes....and injuries lol.

No Bleeding Today

To our surprise our workout was done entirely indoors today. Sorry mosquitos, no breakfast beverages for you today. We all crammed into one classroom. Some of the exercises of the circuit included, weighted lunges, weighted crunches, planking knee twists, weighted horizontal bicycle kicks, "recovery" planks on a stability ball, stationary bikes, weighted sumo squats, horizontal bicycle crunches, pull up jumps, tricep pulls etc.

Let's start with something Sgt. Laura called "Mopping the floor" already this sounds like a foreign concept to me. You put one foot on a Frisbee-looking-thing and sweep it back over and over. The sensation reminded me of skiing...from that half of a run I did when I was 15...just before I fell and tore a ligament in my knee. Yes there's photographic evidence of that somewhere.

Another fabulous one that had many of us laughing at ourselves was the one where we were supposed to lay down, sit up then stand up without using our hands. A nice smooth motion. Sounds simple right? I was thankful to see I wasn't the only one that lacked grace during this particular set.

We were so exhausted that CEO.com and I tried to get away with crawling from one yoga mat to the next one between exercises but nothing gets past Sgt. Laura, she called us out and yelled "We're STANDING up and WALKING to our next station ladies!" I just wanted to roll to it, the crawling was actually an upgrade in energy output.

I felt surprisingly ok when I was leaving, no jello legs, no walking bent over. Then it snuck up on me when I got home particularly when it was time to blow-dry and curl my hair. That's why God made hot rollers, so we can be lazy and cuddle while our hair curls on it's own.

They See Me Rollin'

It was one of those mornings when you're not sure if you have the strength to get out of bed much less make it through one of Sgt Laura's drills. Weak and shaking I drag myself out the door, more aware than ever just how shot my glutes and hamstrings feel.  Even walking around the basketball court pre-workout was strenuous the way my legs still hurt from Monday. We headed out to the soccer field, tractor tires in tow. Per my usual MO, I stand around a wait for someone else to volunteer to roll the tires to the field. I've been saying for a while that I'd rather flip tires than most anything else she has us do...well today I got my share of tire flipping. There were three of us on our tire, we took turns flipping and in between each flip we did two push ups and three star jumps. We did this for what seemed like 10 minutes but was probably more like 2. Then we had to do 20 repeating traveling lunges on each leg. Just what my body wanted, more leg exercises! Then it was time for some partner drills planking high fives and partner squats then back to more tire flipping. Oh what's that? You're out of breath from flipping tires? Let's run back to the classroom the long way for some tabatas! I'm pretty sure Laura got a lot of photographic evidence that the majority of each 20 second tabata was spent laying on the ground panting. It was great when it was my turn to use the bosu ball because it was like a rubber pillow. :-D Oh how about we run back and do more tire drills! Filthy, wet, and sweating I surprised myself when it was all over because I suddenly found that I somehow had volunteered to roll the tire back to the parking lot. I'd say I earned my shower.

I Died Twice This Weekend, Now We're Talking Suicides?!?!

That's right I survived my Murder Mystery weekend performances nose diving into some chairs after being shot in the back of the head as a result of confessing to murder....all in the name of theatre. After that drama now I'm met with the task of 20 suicides....then 10....then 5 as our first exercise! Can I go back to face-planting on chairs? It didn't get any easier, alternating table climbs, jumping rope, star jumps, and lots lots more. We took a break from the circuits to do 1 minute timed sit-ups and pushups, with side planks in between, then we went to the volleyball court for some lovely sand sprints. It was the newbies first time in the sand and now they fully understand the degree of misery to which I was referring. Regardless of the aching in my right knee and ankle and the pinch I felt in the left ankle on my last sprint, I made progress. We made our way back to the basketball court only to finish off our hour with lunges for numb
ers. I was recently enlightened that the point of golf is to play a little as possible. Much like golf, lunges for numbers is when we try to do as few lunges across the width of both basketball courts as possible which essentially means we have to take giant steps. Needless to say your legs feel like jello when it's all over.

Inchworming My Way To Progress

Pressing snooze a few too many times, I nearly slept through bootcamp this AM. We were once again out on the soccer field rolling around in who knows what, for the first time in my life thankful for the "No Pets Allowed" signs.

It seemed like todays circuits were the hall of fame least favorite exercises. The inchworm, crab walks, push-up high fives, planking high fives, squat jumps, pendulum lunges. Never before would I have thought that I would look forward to running over stationary exercises. As we were doing our sumo squat kicks, Sgt Laura advised us that we can make whatever noise or say whatever we needed to say to get through them as long as we stayed low. Besides thinking over and over about how my thighs were burning all that came to mind were expletives.

With only a few minutes left of bootcamp, Sgt Laura said we were going to do .7 mile laps. Something that Sgt Laura said today replayed in my head "Remember why you're here". Every day we run I feel like I'm making progress in leaps and bounds. Starting from jogging between light polls to now making it more than half of the lap before needing to slow down.

My progress has affected more than just my workouts or the fit of my clothes. I've also noticed tremendous improvement in my stamina and physicality on stage. When I may have been nearly breathless walking up the stairs to the stage, I can now sprint on to the stage to a dead stop, drop to the floor and roll under a bed, low crawl back out from the bed do a burpee-like jump up and sprint back off the stage and still be able to say my lines all in the name of comedy. Which reminds me, get your tickets now for the Sensuous Senator opening in September at Highlands Little Theatre. If you didn't get tickets for tonight or tomorrows production of The Fatal 50's Murder Mystery you'll be missing out on my debut performance for the first time in 2 years and I feel great in my little poodle dress!

Pass the Pain Killers

As I sit and drink my coffee on the couch perusing Facebook I see posts from some of my fellow Highlands YMCA bootcampers. They talk about how grateful they are that they didn't sleep in because today's workout was so great. Here I am thinking I wish I had a remote controlled Ibuprofen dispenser so I don't have to stand on my aching knees and ankles.

Pool day! We did so many laps I feel like the next pool party I go to I'm not going to know what to do. I'll jump in and start swimming and everyone would stare at me as they lay on their floats with a beer in hand...who am I kidding, I'd be the one asking someone to go get me a BLL.

After our bootcamp "pool party" we had a quick change for a 20 minute round of circuits that included (wobbly) table climbs, suicides, pendulum lunges, walking high kicks (or as I call it the Hitler walk), karaokes, walking lunges, tricep pulls, and a run around the building. On our run around the building I came up with what I like to call the TRex run for when you didn't prepare properly for running if you know what I mean. Because Sgt Laura doesn't let you get away with much she saw me struggling through the suicides and yelled out "How are those suicides Johanna?" I replied, "Don't worry, I feel terrible."

I Can Appreciate 3 Minutes So Much More

I knew it was coming, we did a lot of running last week but we still hadn't done the customary 1 mile run to see where we're at in the beginning of this bootcamp round. My intuition told me this morning that I better wear my tightest sports bra in case today was the day. We arrived and were told to do timed pushups and burpees. I thought I was going to be tough and not use a yoga mat, which turned out to be an awful idea. Now that we got our heart rate up from the burpees Sgt. Laura dropped the bomb. "Let's head out to the parking lot for a 1 mile run." I noticed great improvement in myself today. I was huffing and puffing right there with some of the level 2s for a good majority of the run before I had to slow it down. I enjoy sprinting the last little bit and couldn't believe my ears when Laura told me my time. I reduced my run another minute and a half for a total of 3 minutes from the first time. If I reduce my run time one more minute she's going to force me to graduate to the level 2s and run a mile and a half. Ugh It never gets easier. On the flip side, once I upgrade to the mile and a half I will be able to more adequately gauge my progress comparing to my fit level at the end of Air Force Basic Training back in 2003. My mile in a half at my best was around 12 minutes 15 seconds, (I was never a runner) so that is my personal goal, to return to that fitness level.


Now that I spent all my energy why not do timed sit-ups! I'm so mad that I didn't improve from the last timed sit-ups but I have to remind myself that last time the sit-ups were before the run.

For the final 15 minutes we did a circuit that included suicide runs, table climbs, underhand ball tosses, partner squats, tire flips, and frog kicks. Now that I've got a partner in crime it's a little harder to get away with skipping exercises like I use to. We both still avoided the suicides until the last possible moment but generally I use to skip the table climbs. I'm not particularly a fan of climbing on objects that quiver under my weight. I also don't enjoy thrusting my rear in the air spread eagle doing frog kicks when every inch of me is sweating.

When You're At A Crossroads

The soccer field was split in half today with two different kinds of circuits. On the first circuit one corner we did 5 jumping stars, the next we did 5 rolling planks, then 5 pointed dogs, then 5 partner squats. On the other half of the field we did 5 burpees, 5 inchworms, 5 high kicks and 5 banded squats. We did one circuit a few times then the other then she gave us the choice as to which one we wanted to start with for another round of both circuits. I was conflicted, I stood there deep in thought then turned to CEO.com and said, "I'm not sure what I hate more, rolling planks or inch worms!" CEO.com made the executive decision that we would do inch worms first. I'm still struggling to keep my legs straight while touching my toes. After that side we moved back over to the other half starting with the rolling planks. Let me explain to those of you who have not had the "opportunity" as Sgt Laura would put it, a rolling plank means starting out in the standard position then flipping over so your hands are behind you all without your butt or stomach touching the ground. Does that sound easy? If it does you suck. Every roll, my butt would hit the wet grass, as the sun came up over the field, the evidence was ever more clear on my rear that I rarely did a proper plank roll. In between these circuits we split into 3 speed levels again and did a .7 mile run. I'm proud to say I ran almost half of it before taking a quick walking break and then back to running and I was towards the front of the level threes.

Someone Get Me A Wheelchair

I'm not entirely sure of the political correctness of some of the exercise names we did today all I know is, as I attempted to get out of my car when I got home I felt like I needed someone to roll me out of my seat.

So there we were in the pitch black soccer field, everyone was sleepily and slowly doing the lunges, "Sumo squats" and even the pendulums when Sgt. Laura throws in a monkey wrench. She wants us to do something called the inch worm. The best way to describe it is a toddler walk. Keeping your legs straight, you bend over and touch the ground, slowly walking your hands out until you're in a planking positing then still keeping your legs straight, you inch them back to your hands and stand up. Once she introduced those four exercises it was time to do the circuits, 10 of those exercises at each of the corners of the soccer field then side stepping between each corner. By about the sixth round I didn't even bother to pretend I could do the inch worm. I feel like we learned to use our knees as children for a reason. It was almost like we were devolving out there. I know I felt like crying for my mommy at times. :-) Then there's the fact I can't even touch my toes without bending my legs!  I ended up skipping the inch worm on that last round entirely and moving on to the sumo squat. By the way, I now know why every sumo wrestler I've seen on TV has such shapely legs!

We also did a 12 minute round and a 6 minute round of "Indian Runs" in which we split into 3 levels of runners, the fast, the moderate and the people who haven't run in a long time or never have if they could help it. I was in that group obviously. While running around the soccer field 2x2 Sgt Laura would yell switch, the two people in the back of the group would have to run to the front to lead. I was proud that I made through until there was about 2 minutes left of the last round and then had to drop out and start walking. As I found myself walking in line with a newbie, "B Sizzle", I felt too guilty so I asked if she wanted to try jogging with me to the next corner, when we made it there I made a new goal and then it was finally over!

By the time I go grocery shopping tonight I think those Walmart scooters are going to look awful enticing.

I Had A Dream

So there I was returning for another round of bootcamp all excited for awesome results over the next 6 weeks. This time I'll actually have some company as my friend, we'll call her CEO.com signed up to join me. I'm looking and looking and I don't see her anywhere! Then I'm ready for a kick-butt workout and all the bootcampers are just standing around eating junkfood! Then I woke up. The simple fact I'm having nightmares about not getting an effective workout speaks volumes to my change of mind.

When I actually got to bootcamp my friend was actually there and I was relieved it wasn't a psychic vision. Thanks to a little creativity and a lot of thanks to the people of Highlands Family YMCA and my other supporters, I am returning to bootcamp for the foreseeable future.

Today was a hard-hitting intro to a lot of the bootcamp newbies, I find it surreal to be a voice of experience and encouragement to the new faces. One gentleman was fretting about the distance we had to run and I shared my tactics for making it through such as setting small goals be it running to the next light pole or the next stop sign. After about three rounds of the first circuit and a .7mi lap and a half we went back in to do another circuit for the last 9 minutes. We made it through one round and were moving on to the second round when I finally asked, "What time is it?!?!" Sgt. Laura very deviously smiled and said "6:22". She tried to sneak in almost an extra 10 minutes on us! Sneakity Sneaky. I need to invest in a sport watch.

Biggest Loser Bootcamp Challenge

Today was the last day of my FIRST 6-week bootcamp at Highlands Family YMCA. As a finale challenge we were broken up into teams and given six tasks.
#1 Using a running app, take screenshots of our movement creating the letters USA.
#2 Toss as many stability balls over the volleyball net as possible in 90 seconds (with out feet)
#3 Using a tractor tire as a bowling ball, knock down as many cones as possible in three tries
#4 With a kickboard, swim as many lengths of the pool as possible in 3 minutes (clothed)
#5 Recruit as many YMCA shirt wearing people to plank around the Y circle in the basketball court
#6 Create a 1 minute video selling the Highlands YMCA with 10 key words/phrases

First of all we were separated by 38 and older and 37 and younger. All the "young" people were made captains and then mixed with others from the 38 and over group. I wasn't much of a captain. The two gents in my group just tuned me out and started off following the assignments the way they wanted to (getting them mostly wrong). Good thing I'm not competitive lol. The first assignment we went to was the stability ball toss in the sand pit. Oh goody I was hoping to get a pedicure today so I'll get a head start on the exfoliation! The guys decided they wanted to try to toss the balls over the net while 55 and I ran in the sand to retrieve the balls like good little doggies. We ended up with 7 balls over the net in 90s seconds. Next we did tire bowling and sadly were only able to knock two cones down. I don't even like regular bowling where the ball might be a max of 10 lbs and now I've gotta try to roll a tractor tire? We ran on to try to do assignment #5, I let the older generation dictate the cursive instructions, apparently THEY didn't even read it right and it was written in their language :-), we worked so hard to get staff members into a picture when the directions only said people had to be wearing a YMCA shirt. Those poor instructors that put on the guys' sweaty YMCA shirts. lol It was nearing deadline for our pool assignment and I had to prod the Mr. independent men to hurry and get it done but we had a diva in the group that refused to jump in the pool because he didn't want to chafe when he ran later. Here my only concern was for right now in that I hoped I wouldn't lose my pants in the pool. Soaking wet, we hopped out and went on to try to make a promo video. My creative side was cringing at the lack of lighting, terrible location and absence of a script but again they said action and I just rolled with it.....then had to do it again because the guys took a picture instead of video. The last challenge was the running app USA. At this point I stopped giving recommendations and just said text me the screenshots and I'll go home with the 20 minutes left and upload the video. I'm looking forward to only having to be concerned with my own progress on Monday when I start my next 6-week bootcamp.

Ugh men! Just another reason I'm single.

Who Has Two Thumbs & Sweaty Knees?

Let's start out by saying from the moment I arrived I felt like I was dragging. I quote an article that was sent to me by one of my biggest supporters, "You've got to eat to perform". It sounds ridiculous to think of myself as an athlete at this point, or really ever but I guess engaging in strenuous exercise 3 - 4 times a week pretty much qualifies me as an athlete. Though part of my goal is to lose weight, the overall intention is to be healthy which means not starving myself and fueling up enough to "perform" well at bootcamp. These last couple weeks and possibly next few months I've had a full schedule between, bootcamp, work and Highlands Little Theatre. There are times I am rushing out the door after work to get to theatre on time but I have to remind myself that I need to make time to eat enough and yesterday I did not. I didn't have any protein or carbs for dinner, just whipped up a salad that I scarfed down with the few minutes I had to spare before I put it all out there on the stage at auditions.

So now for the workout. It began in the pitch black soccer field where at each corner we did 4 jump squats, when we finished the first round we added 4 pushups, third round added 4 burpees and fourth round 4 pointing dogs then each round after that we would start taking something away. Feel the burn! When that was over we went back to the parking lot to do a 10 minute circuit starting with two tire flips, running around the concession stand (trying not to think of the delicious things that were fried there) to the volleyball court where we did two sand sprints, back to the basketball court to do two pushups and around again. As Sergeant Laura pointed out and discussed while I was flipping the heaviest tire that everyone else was avoiding, "Johanna LOVES sand sprints!" I replied, "Oh yes, I just love when the sand goes in my shoes and exfoliates my feet." Sgt. Laura retorts, "See! And that comes FREE with the program!" smh Once that was over and we did our Happy Birthday planks in honor of Sgt Laura's Bday, we partnered up for forward and backwards lunges. All I kept hearing yelled at me was "Deeper Johanna!", it was at this point that I started to feel faint so my poor partner had to keep stopping with me.

Proof of my poor planking posture. Get that butt down!

I would call this definitely a leg day. I could already feel the results while showering and doing my hair this morning. I was fully aware that it was going to be a tough day as my legs were shaking but it wasn't until my miniature schnauzer walked up to me and tried licking my knees that I realized just standing there flat ironing my hair was making my knees sweat. Who does that?!?